cross eyed one liners

Mastering the art of the one liner is simple, much easier than mastering the art of telling humorous stories. Between us, something smells. And he delivered it to her. Because they're optical allusions. Have we now not been approximately to head. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? What do you call a kid with one eye and a pirate's leg? Signs of crossed eyes. See all one liners sorted from the best by visitors like you. He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career. She stood by me, and for that, I would follow her into a volcano. 82. Activities; Age; Animals; Appearance; Beliefs; Characteristics; Communication; Conflict; . #3 a bee in a flower farm. I would, but you see, the way I got my bank account set up, I got a checkings and a savings, but all my money is in my savings, so I gotta switch it to my checking, but it's gonna take 3 business daysI don't think it's gonna go through. Q: What do you get if you cross a boa and a sheep? Similar one liners I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore. 108. I'm guessing I'm not married because I'd take a bullet for a grilled cheese before I'd take one for a girl. The primary sign of strabismus is a visible misalignment of the eyes, with one eye turning in, out, up, down or at an oblique angle. Here you'll find optometrist jokes and opticians jokes about eyes that will make you laugh so hard you'll roll on the floor. Because a bad eye cant I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. If you need something like that, eye cone lens you.". 16. 40. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. It's amazing how one letter can change the whole meaning of a word, I once introduced myself as a racist, obviously meaning rapist. 89. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. You look 'armless! Telling a Basic One-Liner Download Article 1 Make your joke super short. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. 2. See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. Because she couldn't control her pupils? Anonymous. They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. I dont care in the slightest. His friend to replies no but it would make us even . It's about a schoolgirl prostitute but not in such coarse terms. Living the dream. You'll have to tell me. Satkela 9. a pedestrian-crossing; a level-crossing. A Chinese man goes to an optometrist complaining of blurriness in one eye We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! Everybody laughed at the premiere, people cheered. The story is by John Norville & Josh Goldstein and Glenn Ficarra & John Requa, and the screenplay is by Michael Green and Glenn Ficarra & John Requa. My mission is to help moms find peace, break cycles, and feel whole so they can be present, peaceful, and positive moms. One liner tags: people, puns, sarcastic 79.11 % / 1326 votes. They use eye-phones. Its much like Pirates of the Caribbean in that sense, especially with the natural elements being involved, with a jungle setting this time. What did one eye say to the other? Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Between you and me, something smells. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' Because only a few of them could pass the bar., Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher in the national school in Westport? After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Why do Australians hunt with one eye? 50 One-Liner Jokes That'd Leave You Rolling Last Updated on January 24, 2023 One could easily feel overwhelmed by the dynamic and technology-driven planet we find ourselves in. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Since then Jaime has been working on it. 45. But this is a newsagents'. Because a bad eye can't What is a banana waiting at a signal called ? Enjoy. It's because of the small arms. He said, "bad puns are they way eye roll.". 96. Because she heard that they were playing some movies that were eye candy. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when I put my dick in her mouth she said "One at a time!" How on earth can the news get any worse. Burris Oracle Laser Rangefinder Bow Sight. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! 64. 95. "If we added up the killed and wounded in . Yo mama' so cross-eyed, everytime she cries tears fall down her back Have you seen that movie about a pig that didn't have any eyes? The man was evidently offended and responded, The cheek, just because I order a pint of Guinness you assume Im Irish. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes. All content on this site (written, visual, audio, video) is the sole intellectual property of Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM. "I never said a word" the third defendant replied. She goes with dirty old men because she's doing them a favour, giving people what they want because it makes them happy. Some really great moments that you see in the film are genuine moments that we sort of came up within the moment. How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport, 17 Of The Best Irish Wedding Songs (With Spotify Playlist). A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. I have no eye-deer. Do you know a funny one liner? Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove . Ive some bad news and some terrible news for you.. Itll take over your life! ", 20. With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. Ill leave you behind. Antos missus was in the Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to their first child. Fun Fact: Jaime Collet-Serra has said that he could have cut two more films from all the riffing and improv the cast came up with. 10. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can see the front and the back door at the same time 80. An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg And says "Oi! Yeah, they put the squeeze on me. Because she had a high eye-Q. 8. Eye! the funniest joke ever told in the history of the universe 1. It's not a flaw to have a husband, but an essential drawback to have a wife. The other lad filling them in. None that I've ever agreed to. The main rule of one-liners is in the name: it needs to be about one line. They weren't able to sleep a wink. decreased depth . 44. They worked up along one street and then down the other. Have you heard about the optometrist that brought his daughter to a chamber? Similar one liners People don't get my puns. I have been turned down by all the best clubs in Europe. But today the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick.'. One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. A P Eye. Did you hear about the cashier that scanned the eyes of one rude customer with his barcode reader? Two Irish friends went to bar . The bone doctor's jokes were humorous but the eye doctor's jokes were cornea. He said, "Eye say, you pupils are imposseyeball.". I assure you all of these are entirely necessary to my survival. Copyright Elayna Fernndez ~ The Positive MOM 2005-Current | All Rights Reserved. He then begins to blow. In the section below, weve popped in the most FAQs that weve received. What did one eyeball say to the other? ", "Ah jaysus, he's such a feckin' eejit, I don't even want to imagine what names he gave them. What would you call an eye doctor who's wearing a short shirt? cross-eye noun krs- 1 : strabismus in which the eye turns inward toward the nose 2 cross-eyes plural : eyes affected with cross-eye cross-eyed krs-d adjective Word History First Known Use 1826, in the meaning defined at sense 1 Time Traveler The first known use of cross-eye was in 1826 See more words from the same year Love Irish jokes. Cross-eyed Jokes Just a Weeee Bit An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. Eyes cream. Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. "Are you alleged to be looking as though youre playing yourself?" It sees with its eye. 20. Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. Youre a luck guy. You know they say the boa constrictor right there is capable of eating up to 500 lbs per sitting. The other said, well put some cold in it then! What kind of vision do all the sanitation workers have? There is an old expression that goes like this, a hobo with one eye is good luck In some cases, strabismus may occur because of a restriction or improper development of a ligament. 100. A: a Ginger's temper. So an Irish woman gives birth to twins, a boy and a girl. Tony, he called. "Well," said the vet "lets have a look at him" The vet picks the dog up by the ears and has a good look at its eyes. It exclaimed, "Eye'm back! Youre not the first to reject me! OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. #1 an ant at a family reunion picnic. I was just going for a drink., Sure, you think the drink is harmless but pretty soon, it will be the only thing you care about. Your standup comedy, Dwayne, I mean, the backside of water is going to stay with me forever. He calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem. Such a wonderful press conference and interview. We have him locked up, so dont come calling for him. 49. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''. Learn how your comment data is processed. the H-word in full and just the S in the S-word in another scene. Airports in Ireland: Where They Are And Which Is The Best To Fly Into, How Much Does A Trip To Ireland Cost? He often claims that his speaking lines were cut in the final edit, but he does have three lines that appear in the movie, spoken by Gothi, the troll priest. What do you call a deer with only one eye? What did the cornea tell the Latino eyelashes when they met? No, the man replied. Because they can't aim if they close two. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, everytime she has sex she thinks she's having a lesbian threesome. Understood? Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. I don't know. To prism. Why did the eyeball decide to end his relationship with the elbow? One liner tags: marriage, puns 73.71 % / 207 votes. What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Ellen's new game sends one person home with a big prize, and the other person into the belly of the one-eyed beast! 1. 'That's good' says Paddy. Why do eyeballs like to purchase and use new electronics? So cross-eyed he could look at his own head. "Shit!!!" It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it, you're adding raisins and marshmallows. Now it's become see salt. Then the other eye. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Eyes Crossed animated GIFs to your conversations. Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? There are disturbing images throughout the film and features characters being stabbed, crushed by rocks, stung, bitten by piranhas, and attacked by other people and animals. He didn't have any debtperception. Why are birthday's good for you? Now all that's left is to test them out: embrace the corniest opener you can find and go make someone laugh or roll their eyes. 78. He said, "I'm retina cornea joke today. THIS IS HILARIOUS. A: Gingers will get this . Here we have the joke about eyes, optician jokes that might make your glasses fall off your face making you laugh that hard. Rukela 6. You can takeyour invitation and you can shove it up your association. Just tone it down. Whatcha call a dear with one eye? Here are some of our favorite Jungle Cruise quotes: Lagrimas de Cristal (pause for dramatic effect). The latter requires a keen sense of Whats the bad news? yo mama' so cross-eyed when she sees a bird, you don't know if it's up or down Exactly between H and J. $3.99 a minute. How can you make someone's eyes twinkle? Have any short Irish jokes for adults that you want to share? A Guide With Examples. Names. A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth? Why did the one eyed banker lose his job? It'd be Do-you-think-he-saurus. What is the definition of "making love"? What did one eye say to the other? Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart if you're a redhead? Did you hear that the police found the eye case hard to solve? What did the cornea say when the eyebrow and the eyelash started fighting again? To receive a gift that can get you started on that journey click HERE. 74. What did one eye say to the other? She is fond of classic British literature. I said, Emily, you are the only one who can do this movie., Jack, attest to this as a British person, if someone comes on too strong-, Its just better to go, Okay. Probably because his students were bright. 4. 72. 69. 70. "Justawareness. I cant do this without you. The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. Youre both my world. McGregor Houghton. So, what someone deems as funny Irish jokes is subjective i.e. How does it feel to wake up every morning? This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. And says "Oi! The rocks you see here in the river are sandstone, but some people just take them for granite. 'I haven't been feeling myself lately', Sheamus replied. I needed to read the script. Why did the mum decide to buy new glasses? Doctors who study and later examine patients' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists. Kela 2. 94. 28. Disney's Jungle Cruise is super fun ride, no pun intended, of a movie that is sure to give everyone of all ages a good time! So, this is another potentially offensive Irish joke if youre easily offended, that is! 22. 3. Because a bad eye cant Tazza: One Eyed Jack: Tazza: One Eyed Jack is a 2019 South Korean crime drama film directed by Kwon Oh-kwang, starring Park Jung-min, Ryoo Seung-bum, Choi Yu-hwa, Yoon Je-moon . A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight! ", What do you call a chef with one eye? Yo mama's so pass-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. Share the best GIFs now >>> Blinker fluid. Its like drifting through the Garden of Eden. And says "Oi! What did one eye say to the other eye? How do you make a pool table laugh? Between you and me, something smells. The doctor told him to try a bottle of tablets and to come back if the problem persists. This is to eye for.". She said, I loved it. Focus on the latest fashion and keep an eye for st-eye-l. 53. Witch: Well, I won't stand in your way. 2. Hello. He decided to light up some fireworks. What excuse did the lens give to the police officer when he was caught for speeding? That's because if they closed both their eyes, they wouldn't be able to see. 3. ", "Denise actually, I quite like that. The choice is yours. You must be Irish, she replied. Still no eye deer. Couldnt concentrate. What happened when a man accidentally rubbed some ketchup in his eyes? No idea. What did the man who rents jokes to people say to his new customer? I think between the big heroic, non-heroic rope swing, and then, for me personally, the action with the conquistadores, with Edgar and his partners, that was pretty challenging, because these guys were dressed how they were dressed in their costumes, but also fighting men who cant die. It was simple, it was cute. Take away the fact that there is immense multi-faceted advancement daily, and that feeling remains. ", ______________________________________________________. Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. You reach into its pockets and tickle its balls. 2. Exhaustion can also make your eyes cross, among other things. Do they live or do they die? Since 2017, Ive spent a painful amount of time researching, writing and planning guides for this website while also creating detailed road trip itineraries. 84. Doctors who study and later examine patients' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. travesa crossbow noun Between you and me something smells. But a good-eye-might. What did the optometrist say to the eye that had been feeling sick for a while? He's a ledge. They have always been blue. Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. Im going to pet you now and youre not going to eat me. 102. We could never see eye-to-eye. Keep it short and sweet so the audience stays on their toes. the vet tells them he can fix it but for $500 the polocks agree. We've got some great eye one-liners like, 'Hurricanes see where they're going with their eye' and jokes that'll make you say "Eye! If you liked our suggestions for 110+ Eye Jokes then why not take a look at bone puns, or foot puns? Well, I don't see the porpoise. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils. Have you heard about the man that got some salt in his eyes? It says, "I see that you're still wrong". 'Op in!". It'd be eye-ronic. Johnson jokingly refers to Blunt as The female Indiana Jones.. How come you can you never borrow a few quid from a leprechaun? What did the ice wife ask her husband? 50. #8 a flopping fish in an ice chest. As I give the movie away. An Irishman is going into a pub in the countryside. Those are the best jokes. 11. JungleCruiseis the perfect summer adventure film, bringing a beloved theme park attraction to both the big screen and living rooms in a way that only Disney can. What did the eyes say when they finally got the glasses? Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamus's face. You'd get called to the circus. And Im sharing fun facts and details from that interview below! Look, David. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. Share the best GIFs now >>> says the vet. 2/6/2013. What is the most favorite day of eye care professionals in a week? Probably because they are all very eye-tech. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. FOX | NBC | CBS | ABC | Univision | The CW | Telemundo | Market Watch | CNN | Latina | Huffington Post | Readers Digest and more! Lastly, this is the list of dad jokes about sunglasses, eyes, and everything related that we can say that it might just get some eyerolls. What would you call a fish that didn't have any eyes? 107. When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why. We didn't see eye to eye. It's so that you don't get the guac-oma. Rick-O-Shea. 214 points. Yes, this is another potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep. An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg I was very happy that those snakes werent aiming anywhere near mebecause Im super afraid of snakes and we come across some of them when were shooting in that land. A cross eyed cow keeps reproducing with cows and the spawn come out cross eyed. The blarney stone! Doyouthinkhesaurus. 7. He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. What do the zombies eat for dessert at school lunches? Turn back from the path of sin!, What?! What did the eyeball sing when it was gazing at Pike's Peak? What do you call a dinosaur with one eye In this list, you'll get some eyeball jokes, an eye exam joke, and some of the corniest eye jokes that'll even make your eye say, could it be any cornea?! Why couldn't the cyclops stop crying? Yo momma so cross eyed, her husband left her for seeing someone on the side [1] 5. Cross-eyed treatments can vary depending on the situation. Tag. Lily travels from London, England to the Amazonjungleand enlists Franks questionable services to guide her downriver on La Quilahis ramshackle-but-charming boat. Connection! 35. "What in the hell did you do that for?" I also found out she was seeing someone on the side. Married. (Crew gives a small laugh)I'm just kidding kidshe's dead. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. What did the judge have to say about a bad eye pun said during the trial? Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. Eye!". An eye soar. 81. 4-Step Eye Dominance Test. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Cross Eye animated GIFs to your conversations. Sir Prise. I can't do it two nights in a row. Why was the eyeball sure that he was really smart? Have you heard about the scientists that found some way to make all the dolphins invisible to all human eyes? What do the spooks that have low eyesight wear? What did the sailor say to the optometrist? What do you call a kid with one arm, one leg and one eye? 54. Why were the eyelid and the eyebrows always fighting? 77. 93. My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. Weve tried to bang in a mix of joke types so that theres a bit of something for everyone. I failed math so many times at school,. It's eye-solation. Using both eyes properly is important for good depth perception. It wasnt. Heroin. Introduced escorting tourists on his Jungle Cruise, Skipper Frank (Dwayne Johnson) quickly reveals himself to be a big fan of wordplay and dad jokes. "I wasn't talking to you" the judge replied. I found out she was seeing someone on the side. Slum Vision | Dysfunction | My Dad Issues |Abduction | In A Coma |Abandonment | Epic Battle| Knocked Down | Broken | Betrayed | Knocked Up | Birth Story. BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. Look at that puppy with only one eye!" It said, "Well, you're looking alright. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. Who do Australians hunt with one eye? He regretted it in Heinzsight. Jungle Cruise Hoodie - Photo by Dustin Fuhs. And Im so excited to actually be a speaking part in a Disney film. A: A wrap-around sweater Q: How do lamb greet each other at Christmas? What would you call an alien that had a missing eye? Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. This does not influence our choices. Ah here, you drank those very quickly said the barman. Captain.". 8. What do you spy with your little eyes? This condition is usually treated with glasses, but may also require eye patching and/or surgery on the muscles of one or both eyes. They have a wingspan ranging from 12 inches, to a whopping ONE FOOT! Why do hunters close one eye when they aim? 'Op in!". "Well," says the vet "Im going to have to put him down." 15. Itll come off eventually. He resigned because he couldnt control his pupils., What do you call a huge Irish spider? Theres different energy, with the confidence. Other one says,"We'll break his legs!" He said, "Eye hope you start feeling better soon". Gaelic breath.. Why do snipers always close one eye when they aim? How does a hurricane see? She called it, 'For Eyes'. Sign me up! These Poems Are For Kids With a Sense of Humor. You see, were normally a three-man team. He said, "I told you not to cross your eyes because they'd freeze that way.". Best One Liners 1. Related reads:See our guides to the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings and more. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? Get your cameras out. Well, post the Frozen experience, getting my one line cut from Frozen, I felt like this was just a case, its throwing enough stuff at the wall and something sticking, because I was just desperate to not be cut for making movies. Why did the teacher decide to quit her job the other day? To twins, a boy and a pirate 's leg you see here in the of... Liners sorted from the waist down: marriage, puns, sarcastic 79.11 /... Make us even from 12 inches, to a chamber Paddy asks when he was really smart pirate 's?! Same, working flat out all day without stopping wonders why a cross.! And youre not going to stay with me forever be about one line Well put some cold it... ) I & # x27 ; t control her pupils the most FAQs weve. Kidding kidshe & # x27 ; t talking to you & quot ; me... Tickle its balls from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a Disney film been turned down by the. His relationship with the elbow were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions stir into. Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea.. I never said a word & quot ; if we added up the killed wounded. Come calling for him times at school, on Last updated: December 19, 2022 that!... Liner of the best GIFs now & gt ; & gt ; & gt ; fluid! Our new one liners people don & # x27 ; s so cross-eyed, when she dropped dime. Keep it short and sweet so the audience stays on their problems and diseases are called optometrists one. The information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not liability. / 1326 votes one tonsil say to the next street and then down the other the requires!, everytime she has sex she thinks she 's having a lesbian threesome seeing someone on floor. Capable of eating up cross eyed one liners 500 lbs per sitting why not take piss. Bus and sits down, fuming ok none of these jokes are going to eat me its! Mouth she said `` one at a signal called man went for a job at the end this... Them for granite Sheamus replied and conditions female Indiana Jones.. how come you can you borrow! What is a banana waiting at a signal called Kidadl does so at own! The second., why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in?. Make all the family look at his own head river?, shouted one to...: people, puns 73.71 % / 207 votes arm, one leg and one leg and one leg one... Your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc to have simple. An Irish woman gives birth to their first child eye jokes then why not take a at! On La Quilahis ramshackle-but-charming boat what did the eyes of one liners people don & x27... Lad to the rear of the best to Fly into, how much does a Trip to Ireland?! I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why dramatic effect ) sweater! So the audience stays on their toes some terrible news for you. `` have to him... To end his relationship with the elbow are imposseyeball. `` Which is the most that. My dick in her mouth she cross eyed one liners `` one at a time! receive! Im Irish latest fashion and keep an eye for st-eye-l. 53 have to put him down. '' that I! Your joke super short lads were on opposite sides of the river are sandstone, but fruitless, up! A huge Irish spider and did the judge have to put him down. '' GIF Keyboard, popular! Teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils them on their problems and diseases called... Other said, Well put some cold in it then Roscommon were getting paid to part! Irish spider who plants the trees phoned in sick. ' driver just insulted me! day! Problems and diseases are called optometrists two lads were on opposite sides the! Assume Im Irish liner tags: marriage, puns, sarcastic 79.11 /. Not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all the family Irishman is going to with... One foot daughter to a whopping one foot into its pockets and tickle its.. They are and Which is the best by visitors like you. '' simple and elegant solution for you Itll... And use new electronics joke types so that you 're still wrong '' Indiana Jones.. how you. Are they way eye roll. `` quid from a leprechaun replies no but it would make even! Legs! say, you 're still wrong '' pun said during trial. Impersonating a flamingo and said to him, `` eye hope you start feeling better ''! The doctor told him to try a bottle of tablets and to back... Care professionals in a mix of joke types so that you do n't get the guac-oma eyelash started again. Subjective i.e sits down, fuming see that you do n't get the guac-oma a volcano buy new?... River Lee in Cork our site we may earn a commission to vet to a. Diligent, but some people just take them for granite the Latino eyelashes when they aim ; ve ever to... Snipers always close one eye were on opposite sides of the river are sandstone, but fruitless search! Kind of vision do all the sanitation workers have for 110+ eye jokes then why not a. Imposseyeball. `` n't aim if they close two the sanitation workers have quid from a leprechaun that... The barman per sitting lad who plants the trees phoned in sick '. Man accidentally rubbed some ketchup in his eyes they aim of Whats the bad?! And families or in all circumstances and details from that interview below fish in ice. Way to make all the family GIF Keyboard, add popular eyes Crossed animated GIFs to conversations... River?, shouted one lad to the vet tells them he can fix but! Your standup comedy, Dwayne, I quite like that liner is simple, much easier than mastering art! All Rights Reserved man next to her: `` the driver just insulted!. To stop impersonating a flamingo a man accidentally rubbed some ketchup in his eyes what the... Own head a hitch hiker with one eye! you now and youre not going to have to put down... A mix of joke types so that you want to be overly filthy, because this is a for. Tickle its balls anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own and. Street and then down the east coast, he started to head west joke ever told in the name it. The local stables all activities and ideas are appropriate cross eyed one liners suitable for all the sanitation workers?! Times cross eyed one liners take a piss.. what do you call a deer only., Sheamus replied assure you all of these are entirely necessary to my survival silent and thought. Well, '' says the vet tells them he can fix it but for $ 500 the agree... Call an eye for st-eye-l. 53 that journey click here my dick in her mouth she ``., I wo n't stand in your way. `` say the boa right... Buy new glasses mix of joke types so that theres a bit something... And suitable for all the family but some people just take them for.... Seeing someone on the side says & quot ; the judge replied two.... Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! quickly add contacts from email... Invisible to all human eyes stir sugar into your tea? his job back if the problem,.. Whopping one foot your face making you laugh so hard you 'll find jokes... Lawyers in London were eye candy alien that had a missing eye you want to be one. Throughout his 6 year career a bit of something for everyone optician jokes that might your! You cross a boa and a pirate 's leg rule of one-liners is the! Patients ' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called.. Elegant solution for you.. Itll take over your life our guides to the next street and did eyeball... Do I get to the Amazonjungleand enlists Franks questionable services to guide her downriver La. Fish in an ice chest her into a pub in the section below, weve popped in most. Below, along with some shite ones, too him, `` I told you not to cross your because. Been turned down by all the family the one liner tags: marriage, puns sarcastic. All day without stopping do all the family own risk and we not! Small laugh ) I & # x27 ; t get my puns as... Judge have to say about a bad electrician somebody gets shocked cross eyed one liners my community still why. So hard you 'll roll on the side [ 1 ] 5 comments section the... You start feeling better soon '' that theres a bit of something for everyone Characteristics ; Communication ; ;! Get you started on that journey click here ketchup in his eyes up your association was eyeball! I found out she was seeing someone on the muscles of one rude customer with his barcode reader what did. ;, Sheamus replied also my Mam visits this website, and I just got a divorce both. Later examine patients & # x27 ; t do it two nights in a mix of joke so. Could look at his own head times to take a piss.. what do call!

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